My cousin demanded cash only- no gifts whatsoever- in her wedding invite. It even came with a conceited poem about the wishing well to give money to make all of the couple's dreams come true.
The wedding itself was in the heroin capital (Baltimore) of the country. We had reservations at this flea bag no tell motel Holiday Inn that was recommended in the invite, adjacent to the catering hall. The thought process must have been,"yes, a room at $65 a night will mean an even bigger check for me!"
Yes, a mercenary and opportunistic little switch...make your relatives show up at the wedding with fleas, and bedbug bites but there's still a good payday... LOL.
When we showed up at the hotel, there were a bunch of straggly, dusty, strung out looking people of all colors, holed up at the place. White and black people who looked worn out with that glassy-eyed fiendish, matted hair, scratching myself to get quick comfort presentation. We literally had to step over them to get to our rooms. This one chick, she had a mangy (for real) looking German Shepherd, and he seemed to favor Alpo on a paper plate....right in the door space between the room I shared with my grandmother and theirs. Unreal.
It turned out the motley crew were with one of those magazine sales rackets- the ones where the kids come from Oklahoma or Iowa, sell you a subscription to Reader's Digest or Family Circle at a cut rate price to "help them go to college." Well, evidently these folks had been there for MONTHS, scouring the streets of Charm City, and stayed at this flop house at night. Very sad.
We attempted to leave this communicable disease looking shelter of last resort, but unfortunately we were stuck there, as the wedding was the next day, and we didn't venture too far around Baltimore, with one notable exception. Back then I was a Yankees fan in earnest, and we had tickets to see them play the Orioles. Camden Yards was gorgeous, the game was great, but in the fourth inning, the sky darkened, and we were told to go hide in the tunnel because a tornado blew through...lol. No damage, just dark clouds, crazy wind, sideways rain, and it disappeared back to normal sunshine.
The next day at the wedding, there was no gift table, but only a paper model of the "wishing well" that told guests to "deposit your money envelopes HERE. Thank you!"
LMAO...after all that, the cousin had the nerve to have a money dance- where people pay to dance with the bride. My grandmother kept gagging and shaking her head. :)
The crabcakes were really delicious. :)
